Halo 2: The Relationship RUINER
by clickieNE
Summary: [summary of 1st ]Sakura hated Halo. She knew that boys couldn't live without video games. But what it makes Sasuke do is just unacceptable. And Sakura won't stand for being ignored. Sasuke, come to bed. No. Sasuke, go to work. No. SASUKE! NO![more onesho
1. Chapter 1

Dislaimer: NOPE. Dont own Naruto...and never will. However I do own the story line.

**The Greatest Relationship Ruiner**

Sakura bit at her lip furiously. She currently stood in front of the open door of her apartment trying to wait patiently. But it was useless. The noise coming from the living room overwhelmed her train of thought.

"Sasuke, will you hurry up?! We're going to be late for the meeting!" Sakura yelled hysterically at her boyfriend. She glared at the clock on the wall. It was already 7:30;if Sasuke didn't hurry up they'd be late for their briefing on a mission!

"Sasukeeeeeee!!" She screamed.

"Wait, I'm almost finished!" Sasuke called from the living room. Sakura wailed and slammed the front door.

She dragged her feet into the living room where Sasuke sat on the couch, his lithe form bent over a game controller and his eyes glued to the screen of the huge plasma T.V. Sakura knew from first glance that it was Halo 2. There was no mistaking the blue aliens and weird colored outfits. I mean really! What kind of butt kicking people wore neon orange jumpsuits?! Well, there was Naruto but at least he had more self-control than Sasuke did at the moment!

Sakura observed him for a moment. Sasuke's fingers pounded at the control; his eyes still roving all over the screen. His face was stuck in mid-scowl and his teeth were bared angrily. His eyes were squinted angrily; almost closed that it was kinda cute. Sakura smiled in spite of the anger that was bubbling in her stomach. _What the hell can I do to get him to quit?! _Sakura sat next to him with a sudden hunch.

"Sasuke, baby, c'mon. Let's go to go." Sakura asked in a beyond sweet voice. She wrapped her arms possessively around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder; her lips just barely brushing across his neck. Sakura felt his muscles tense as she squeezed him. She let her hand drift casually to his thigh and squeezed oh so gently. She almost laughed out loud when his eyes widened and his grip on the control loosened.

"I promise something good when we get back from dinner," She cooed. She grasped a strand of his hair around her finger and

hooked her ankle around his. Then she started as the T.V started flashing YOU LOSE in bright blue letters. Sakura smiled to herself. "Sasuke, it's over now. Let's go before Tsunade punishes us." She whispered. Sasuke closed his eyes. It was all Sakura's fault that he lost the game, if she hadn't distracted him with her…yummy goodness…

"Hn," He grunted and stood up almost causing Sakura to lose her balance on the couch since her legs were still wrapped around his.

"About time!"

And that was that. They made it to their meeting on time and received their mission, but it wasn't the last of Halo; the relationship ruiner!

"Sasuke, pleeeeeeeease!" Sakura yelled, on the verge of tears. "We're gonna be late for those reservations!"

"Wait, I'm nearly finished." Sasuke promised. Sakura growled through her teeth. She was all dressed up in a sexy dress; at least that's what Sasuke had thought of it. Until he had come home from work a few hours ago and plopped his lazy ass on the couch and tackled the neon colored aliens with his super powered fingers. They had reservations for a special dinner tonight. For Kami's sake it was their anniversary!! Sakura plopped herself on the couch beside him. Apparently he was in the final challenge with the Juggernaut; supposedly the hardest level of them all.

"Sasukeeeee, don't you love me?" Sakura whined.

"Hn," He grunted. His fingers flew with lightning speed over the buttons.

"Then please just get over this stupid game and come to dinner with me!" Sakura pleaded.

"Later," He muttered.

"WAAAAAH!"

Sakura missed the days before Halo had come and taken over. She remembered the first few weeks clearly; from when he had first played the game. Oh, Sakura had played too. That's what had gotten them a little bit closer in the beginning. But gradually Sasuke had begun to spend more time on the game than with her and Sakura had just given up on spending time with him and abandoned her pink game control, knowing full well that Sasuke wouldn't miss her. And she was right. He hadn't even noticed. And Sakura hated when her boyfriend didn't notice her.

With another cry, this one sounding more like a fierce beast, Sakura grabbed the controller from his hands and with speed matching those of his pounded on the buttons, eyes glaring at the screen.

"Hey, Sakura! Give it back!" Sasuke yelled, sounding very much like a little boy. Then his eyes widened in surprise as his ears confirmed what his eyes refused to believe.

"YOU'RE THE WINNER!" flashed in neon red across the screen accompanied with the Juggernaut's annoying boom of a voice.

Sakura beamed with a ferocious smile and slammed the control onto the ground. Then she turned to Sasuke, still frozen in shock, and gripped his collar pulling him down to her eye level.

"Now, listen here, Uchiha." She growled. "Dress up and meet me at the restaurant in two minutes." She glared angrily at him and glanced at the T.V. once again. She smiled, almost evilly. "Got it?" Nearly choking from shock and the force of her fist in his collar he nodded.

"Good. I'll be waiting." She said, finally releasing her hold on him. Then she kissed him. Sasuke's brain began to malfunction. Still from shock but also from the magic Sakura was currently working on him. The heat rose in his cheeks as he tried to respond to her kiss. But she broke it before he had the chance. She giggled and walked to the door, swaying her hips and knowing exactly what she was doing to his hormones.

"I love you, Sasuke."

Then she closed the door. It was a good five seconds before Sasuke finally revived from his shock. Then he scowled.

"Thanks a lot, Sakura. Now I've got to start over…,"

* * *

**A/N:**

**so what do you guys think of this one shot? I wrote it from experience. haha im so proud of myself. well, i've been thinking of writing more one shots. Just little stories on Sakura and Sasuke and their special relationship. But then the only way i can write them is if i get reviews. Yes, i cherish your reviews. So if the reviews are just as plentiful as the visits on this page, then i'll add another one shot. **

**If not, then i'll haveta abandon this one. for those of you who read An Unexpected Family...you know just how long i can stay away from writing anything. If you dont want to deal with a rogue writer (wtfreeeak?) then i suggest more reviews this time.**

**so REVIEW. Please?**

**BECAUSE I LOVE HEARING YOUR OPINIONS.**

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING.**


	2. BELLYRING

**BELLYRING**

Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Good Morning Konoha! Today is Saturday. The time is 7:30 a.m. And for today's announcements…

_Auuurghh…why does my head hurt so effin' bad…?_

Sakura pressed a cold hand to her burning forehead. She was acutely aware of the blankets twisting around her body. Every individual fiber contributing ache and pain to her already sore body.

_Oh, God. How much did I drink last night?_

Sakura then pressed a hand to her stomach, which was throbbing with pain.

_Why does it hurt so much?? Oh, my God. Am I pregnant?!_

Sakura opened weary eyes and winced as her fingers pressed on the sore skin of her stomach. She sat up and almost screamed from the pain.

_WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?!_

Sakura lifted the hem of her shirt, which reeked of alcohol, glanced at her stomach, and screamed.

There staring back at her with all its shiny glory was a belly ring.

"OH, MY GOD!!" She screamed again.

Sakura fell back onto her bed, her breathe coming out in wheezes. With trembling hands she picked up her phone and pressed number one on her speed dial.

"Urghh…hello?" Ino asked groggily.

"INO! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!" Sakura screamed hysterically; another wave of pain washed over her.

"Sakura? Why are you screaming so loud? You're not the only one with a hangover…urghh what time is it?" Ino semi-yelled.

"Ino, help meeee!" The pain was nauseating.

"Sakura, I don't know what you're complaining about…it doesn't look too bad." Ino commented an hour later as she inspected the source of Sakura's pain.

"If you were in my position you would know EXACLTY what I'm complaining about!" Sakura snarled. They were currently standing in front of Sakura's lengthy mirror observing the new piece of body ornament.

"Okay, okay, but…it wasn't my fault!" Ino said.

"I don't care whose fault it is! I just wanna know when this'll stop hurting!" Sakura complained.

"Ummm…if I'm correct…I think about a year to heal…," Ino offered.

"A year?! A whole goddamn year!" Sakura wailed.

_Of all the crazy thing I could've done when I was drunk! It had to be this!!_

"Wait, this really isn't so bad," Ino said, her eyes widening with a sudden idea.

"No more, Ino. I've had enough of your crazy ideas." Sakura muttered. She lay back on the bed, muffling a whimper as pain shot through her stomach.

"No, wait. Sakura…you remember those girls that the guys have been interested in lately?"

"Of course, how could I not notice? They're beautiful." Sakura murmured. After nearly five years of meeting Sasuke she still hadn't managed to get one date out of him!

_And I'm already seventeen! Ino's so goddamn lucky! She and Shikamaru are finally together…_

"But did you notice anything besides their "beauty"? Ino asked using air quotes. Sakura shook her head. "Hellooo? Sakura, they all had belly rings too!" Ino exclaimed. Sakura's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"CHH…DUHH!"

"So…what's the big deal?" Sakura asked, still confused as to why Ino was bringing this sour subject up.

"Did you ever wonder why the guys have been returning to that whore house every night since those girls came?!" The "guys" consisted of Sasuke, Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Lee, and basically all the single ninja of Konoha.

"Umm…,"

"Hello??? They can all belly dance! And those belly rings just make it even better! With you're belly ring you just might be able to charm Sasuke!" Ino said punching the air, triumphing over her brilliant idea.

"Hmm…you're right. This isn't such a bad thing." Sakura mused.

"And you're going to take advantage of it!" Ino decreed.

The guys sat on tatami mats sipping on beer. Surprising, no?

The guys were _very _excited. All week their new hangout had been advertising a new dancer. They could hardly contain themselves, save for Sasuke and Shino. But that's hardly a surprise!

"C'mon, already!" Kiba whooped. He slammed his tankard down on the round table they all sat at. Cheers and catcalling joined him from the other tables and half naked girls giggled as they served more beer. Sasuke rolled his eyes and smirked. The "only" reason he came along every night was because he knew that when they left to go home at one in the morning they would all need a place to sleep. Sasuke was very good at containing his alcohol, Shino, too; so both offered their homes as an infirmary as they slept off their stupors and hangovers; or so they say. Anyways it didn't hurt to enjoy the dancers perform.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and upbeat music - played by cultural musicians in the corner- initiated. Cheers and yells of glee sounded as the curtains parted and the usual dancers began to enter and dance, gyrating their hips to the beat.

A lone dancer clad in a simple skirt, a cropped top to displaying perfectly chiseled abs, and balancing a soft, white veil over her face, showing only her eyes, was revealed from the midst of the other dancers. She danced with perfect rhythm, her hips captivating the gaze of every man there.

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered pounding the table. The others followed his behavior. Kiba looked at the look on Sasuke's face and whooped with laughter.

The Uchiha's face was even paler than usual, save for the extreme blush spreading over his cheeks. His mouth opened and closed slightly and his eyes were glued to the flexible figure of that new dancer. His fingers gripped his beer bottle.

The dancer sensing the extra special attention of the only sober man in the house danced her way to him. Her moves were innocent and exotic and somehow she moved only for him. Her arms sweeping up gracefully and the many bangles on her arms clinking together as they fell sounded like heavenly bells to Sasuke's ears. Sensually, she swept one arm around his neck and leaned into him breathing lightly on his lips. The Uchiha could hardly contain his hormones as he gazed into the oh so familiar emerald eyes.

"_Sakura…," _Sasuke whispered mortified.

Sakura giggled lowering her veil just slightly so only Sasuke could see her face. Then she replaced the veil and wiggled her hips tauntingly in his face, the perfect opportunity for him to see the shining belly ring jingle in time to the music.

Sakura winked at him and returned to the middle of the other dancers and the house cheered as they retreated behind the curtains.

"Wow, Sasuke! That new girl is totally digging you!" Naruto yelled.

"Dude, you're one lucky bastard!" Kiba put in. And the night continued with Sasuke silently brooding over Sakura's new found activity and the guys complimenting him on his new 'eye candy.'

And just like routine, at one a.m. the guys, under the influence, walked rowdily to Sasuke's house, the sober ones their only support.

Sasuke had only managed to get all the guys locked in one room, finally asleep, and Shino in the living room, when he returned to his master bedroom.

He fell into bed exhausted and for the billionth time his thoughts trailed back to Sakura's new ornament. Coincidentally, the phone beside his bedside table began to ring. Sasuke picked it up on the third ring.

"Hello," Sasuke said hoarsely into the phone.

"Good morning, Sasuke," An awfully cheerful voice chirped on the other end. Sasuke's fingers tightened on the phone.

"What, Sakura?" He asked.

"Oh, I was just wondering what you thought of my performance last night." She said, unembarrassed and straight to the point. He heard a giggle in the backround and knew it could only belong to Ino.

"What of it?" Sasuke asked, monotonously.

"Oh…ummm..," Sakura mumbled….finally at a loss for words.

"What's he saying?" Ino asked from beside her. Sakura covered the mouthpiece with her hand.

"I don't think he's very interested, Ino." Sakura retorted.

"Are you kidding me? Give me the phone!" And before Sakura could stop her Ino grabbed the phone from her hands and barked into the phone.

"Don't you dare lie, Uchiha! Tell me the truth! You liked it didn't you?!" Sasuke glared at the phone in disgust.

"I could care less with what Sakura does to her body." He answered coldly.

"What…? But then…why have you and the others been going to that awful whore house for the past week?" Ino asked…shielding the phone from the still struggling Sakura.

"Because," The cold voice began, "we were assigned a mission. Those dancers are wanted by the Village of the Mist for smuggling and thievery."

"Are you serious?" Ino asked, staring intently at the wall opposite her. But her only answer was the dial tone of Sasuke hanging up on her.

"Well, what did he say?" Sakura demanded.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Sakura! Sasuke wasn't interested in those girls at all! They were just a mission!" Ino said timidly, holding tight to the phone almost for protection.

"….What?!" Sakura shrieked. She pulled at her hair in frustration and plopped down on her bed.

"Great! Just great!" She yelled at her ceiling. "This was just a total waste of time!"

"Sakura," Ino said, reassuringly.

"Now, I have to wait one _whole _year to take this stupid thing off!" Sakura yelled glaring at the _thing_.

And Sakura knew she'd be in for a year of pain.

* * *

**A/N: **

**ugh. wasn't feeling it with this chapter. and it didn't help that i didn't get much reviews..**

**and i know i was exaggerating about the pain of getting a bellyring. so for those that believed me..getting a bellyring doesn't _really_ hurt as much as you think...and as much as sakura said it did during this chapter.**


	3. Creaking and Learning

**Virgin Ears**

Sakura wrapped her fingers around her mug, its contents radiating warmth. She sipped it as she walked to her room. Cell seven was currently staying the night at an inn, on their way home from a mission. They had undergone a few battles but managed to escape with minor scrapes and bruises. It was pretty late and she was very exhausted so she blamed it on her diminishing sense when she thought she heard an unfamiliar sound coming form Sasuke's room. It sounded a little like a grunt.

After pining after Sasuke for so long, it made sense that Sakura could recognize any sound that he made. Whether it was a stubborn sound when Kakashi forced him to do something he didn't want to, or a snore when he slept deeply, Sakura always knew whether it was him or not. But this new sound, she didn't recognize. Silently as possible, she crept to his closed door and listened.

Creak.

A shift on the bed.

A grunt…turned into a hiss of pain.

Thump.

Something placed on his bedside table.

"Ouch, that hurt!"

Naruto.

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. Why is Naruto in Sasuke's room? She opted to knock and find out what was going on without her, as the familiar bubbles of jealousy spurted in the pit of her stomach.

Howling.

Naruto in pain.

"Shut up, dobe."

Sasuke!!

"Stop it! You're hurting me!"

Naruto's familiar whining.

Sakura could easily see Sasuke's scowl on the other side of the door.

Creak.

"Stop moving! I can't concentrate if you're all over the place!"

What are they doing in there? And most importantly, why is Sasuke letting Naruto into his room? Sakura, breath coming in gasps and shock, covered her mouth, hoping to hear better.

"Sasuke-teme, this is all your fault!"

Naruto had finally come to an agreement…with himself.

"How the hell is this my fault?" Sasuke growled.

Creak.

"OUCH! If you hadn't banged me up so bad I wouldn't be in this shape!"

_Banged?! _Does he mean what I think he means?

HAHA.

Sasuke snickering. Who knew? The emotionless Uchiha could crack one better than Gai.

"I did bang you up pretty good, didn't I?"

Sakura could hardly hear the sarcasm in his voice.

"SHUT UP!"

Naruto yelled angrily.

HAHA.

More snickering.

Creak.

"Hey, where you going?! You're not done here!"

Footsteps.

"I need a break."

_A break from what?!_

"My, dear Sakura. Pray tell why you're eavesdropping on our two lovely adolescent males?" Sakura jumped in surprise.

"Kakashi-sensei! Gomen…I didn't mean to listen…but…,"

A mischievous smile appeared through his mask.

"Oh, but I never said that it was wrong." He whispered. Then he, too, leaned in to listen. His eyes flashing curiously. Sakura followed.

Creak.

"About time,"

Naruto muttered.

"Would you prefer Sakura to do it?!" Sasuke asked, deeply irritated.

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise and she turned to look at Kakashi. He was surprised too.

"No way! She makes it hurt!"

"I what?!" Sakura asked. "Kakashi-sensei, what are they talking about?" Sakura asked, deeply confused. Kakashi shhed her and continued to listen. But there were no more sounds except more creaks from the bed.

"Sakura, have you ever heard about…SEX?" Kakashi asked. Sakura's face reddened in surprise.

"Uhmm…yes…but…I never…," she stopped.

"Well, then you're about to find out," Kakashi informed her cheerfully. "Well, you'll learn about the homosexual SEX. This is a great experience for you to learn from."

_EW._

"Sasuke, you're making it hurt…," Naruto began in a whimper.

"Stop complaining, this is the best I can do." Sasuke mumbled as though his mouth were busy.

"Sasukeeeee…,"

Creak.

Creak.

Creeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaak.

"Dobe, get back here!"

The bed could be heard convulsing as though being rolled over and over. The look on Kakashi's face was beyond disgusting and Sakura covered her ears and shut her eyes.

There was a jumble of footsteps and before student and teacher could compose themselves the door opened and Naruto ran smack into them.

Howling.

A pile of bodies.

A horrified Uchiha standing at the door looking down on his team.

And the forgotten mug cracked into a thousand pieces...it's contents pooling around the shocked ninja.

"NARUTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SASUKE'S ROOM?!" Sakura screamed.

Sasuke glared at Kakashi.

"What? I just wanted to take a break from Ichi Ichi. But it seems that wherever I go…Ichi Ichi's everwhere!" Kakashi said laughing.

"Sakura, wait calm down!"

Naruto tried to stop Sakura from turning him into her new punching bag.

"Give me one reason not to hurt you!"

The blonde shoved his badly splinted arm in her face.

"Sasuke, was trying to splint my arm!"

"What? When did you break your arm…," Sakura blinked several times, eyeing the disgusting excuse for a splint and then looking to Sasuke to confirm.

"He totally broke in when we were sparring earlier!"

"Oh, is that all?" Kakashi asked, his voice dripping with the sarcasm.

"Shut up! Nothing was going on I swear!"

"Tell me, Sakura. Did you learn anything useful from the earfull we just heard?" Kakashi asked, relishing the look of rage spreading on Sasuke's face.

"Sasuke…," the three ninja turned to look at the only kunoichi who was still staring at the splint in shock.

"You have terrible medical skills."

* * *

**A/N:**

**rawr. **

**next one shot might be about vibrating objects and a certain perverted ninja.**

**maybe...you all know what to do to read it. **


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